Anyone who knows me well knows I hate needles, injections, having blood samples taken. Before I got ‘ill’ that was OK I probably had to get something like that once a year. These days it’s a lot more often.

Yesterday I had three in one day! I had two injections, one in each arm, plus a blood sample taken from my arm as well. Today I have a sore shoulder from them. Getting old and sick sucks!

I was sitting in a meeting this morning, the subject was installing an appliance so a vendor can do a piece of work for us – for non IT folks a definition of appliance can be found here -  Appliance

As the definition above says (if you read it) you just plug the appliance into the network and it starts working. So in the meeting someone says ‘why do that? Why not install the software on a VM?’ Then a sub conversation starts about the fact that the appliance or its software equivalent contains potentially sensitive data. So we would need to find somewhere special in the network to install the software, if we just used the software and not the appliance – the appliance as an aside is also a hardened appliance – IT term – see definition of hardened here – Hardened Appliance – so it would be very hard for anyone to get at the data on the appliance as it is delivered.

I sat and half listened to this rubbish for quite a while and then because I was now bored with playing with my phone and wanted to move on, I said, ‘why not just install the appliance outside the firewall as the vendor suggested and it would solve all those problems?’ Long silence as most folks stop to consider that, and hopefully see the sense in it.

That is, except for one dissenting voice, who has now thought of another way we could do this, or so they think. We can do this without even installing the appliance, because we already have something that does this, that is to be precise, what it is they think this appliance does, or does it do that? They don’t recall but say we should check, then they say ‘someone should take an action to check that’. And off we go again on another pointless discussion of a dumb idea that in ten minutes time will be found out to be just that.

Why can’t we just plug the bloody appliance in like the vendor wants to and get on with doing the job? Or is that the issue, that is we don’t actually want to get on and ‘do the job’?

Whatever happened to KISS as a motto? That is – Keep It Simple and Stupid – it’s worked for me for the last 30 years.

This weekend I was sick. I didn’t feel too good on Friday, and by Saturday had a proper, full blown head cold, so I lay around all day Saturday, and did very little, it was also very cold out, another reason not to venture far.

I did venture out on Sunday to take the dog for a short walk, around 2kms in half an hour. As I got close to home I had to cross a stream. In the stream were a number of Supermarket Trolleys.

It reminded me of my days in South Africa. At one time I lived in a place called Jukskei Park, just north of Johannesburg. Close to where I lived was a stream, which was called the Jukskei River. It had been dammed to form a small lake in a park close to my house. Despite efforts to make it look pretty, supermarket trolleys frequently found their way into it spoiling the view. This happened with such regularity that one day I asked my then teenage son, who’d just come inside where he’d been? His answer was he’d been to the Jukskei River and it was full of ‘trolley fish’.

To me ever since, they’ve been known as Trolley Fish.

Yesterday the weather in Melbourne was terrible, cold, windy raining. At the end of the day I had a 50km, hours’ drive out west over the Westgate then on the freeway.

The drive was rough; the city was chaos courtesy of road works on tramlines that cut the city in half. Eventually though I got through it over the Westgate Bridge and onto the freeway. Traffic was heavy but it was moving at around the speed limit.

Visibility was terrible. Heavy rain, lots of spray from all the big trucks. I had my headlights on and was considering putting on my ‘bright’ rear light for fog / bad weather use – that’s the one no one in Australia seems to know how to use. It’s either never on or always on, on cars that actually have one.

I drive a small four wheel drive, so it has a flat rear window that gets covered in rain. I felt this tingling in my neck on the freeway, checked the wing mirrors, saw nothing. Checked the rear view mirror inside the car, couldn’t see anything the window was covered in rain. So I gave the rear wiper a flick and guess what had made my neck tingle? A black car, without lights was less than a cars length from my rear bumper doing around 100kph in the pouring rain, obviously keen to die. Not a lot I could do about it except grin and bear it and pull over out of his way at the first gap in traffic. When I did he sped off still no lights, to go and sit up the arse of the next car in front of him.

When I got home I opened a beer. Despite the weather my partner, Allison decided to go take the dog for a walk. She was gone around half an hour, got back and said, “You’ll never believe it, the weather is really bad out there, you can’t see anything. As I was walking the dog back home a black car came around the bend on the wrong side of the road, without any light on”. I said “on the contrary I believe you completely, I think I met him earlier”.

P.S. – the picture is of some guy in Switzeland who to combat the cold fitted a wood burning stove in his car. At least he has lights on!

And now my current gig at RMIT is coming to a close. I’m out of there on May 11^th. It was meant to be the end of June but I’m out of the country for most of June so that was never going to happen now we’ve agreed on May 11^th.

So long RMIT, to quote that classic line ‘I won’t say it hasn’t been fun, it hasn’t but I won’t say it’.

Which is sad because normally I’m quite happy shopping at Bunnings. But this story actually goes to prove that sometimes the ‘shit service’ is down to individuals and not the store in general, like one is.

I went to Bunnings to buy storm water drainage pipe. It’s quite simple, long plastic pipe 90mm in diameter that you put in the ground to carry away excess water fro you property. It turned out it only came in 6 meter lengths so no way I could just buy it and put it in my car. I asked one of the guys working there about getting it delivered. He was very helpful with the detail and eventually referred me to the trade counter at the end of the area as the place to sort it out.

The trade counter was manned by a single teenage girl. She was serving someone else quite slowly, but I waited and eventually she got to me. I told her what I wanted and she something like “sure we can deliver it for you, but you need to go to the special orders desk in the centre of the store to arrange it”. With hindsight she cleary had no interest in doing it herself, even thought the other staff member had told me she could.

I got directions to the special orders desk, trudged through the store to find it. I found it and on it was a notice which said “this desk closed please go to the trade counter for assistance”. I thought I’ve just been there, but I went back.

The same young lady was there, this time on the phone, having this kind of conversation with someone, “I’ve tried to put the transaction through, but it won’t let me, it keeps coming up with an error”. It went on a while, no attempt was made to serve me, so eventually I interrupted and told her she’d sent me to the special orders desk, and a notice on that desk referred me back to her could she please help me? The response was “Oh I just spoke to her (the special orders desk lady) she’s on her way back there she’s been here helping me with this, you can go back there”. I said “are you suggesting I go over there again on the off chance it’s actually got someone working there?”  She said “yes”, and I said “No I won’t bother thanks I’ll buy them somewhere else”.

And I did, and well done to Reece Plumbing. They served me very efficiently, charged me more than Bunnings would have done, but I didn’t mind, and then they delivered the stuff about two hours later. So if I had a Great Service of the Week Award I’d give it Reece Plumbing this week.

Less than 10 days after bitching about those bloody light bulbs from Beacon Lighting going every three weeks, another one went today. At $15 each for 10 days of use we are now up to $1.50c a day to light my kitchen.

Luckily I found another source of them, different brand, which I’ve bought. We’ll see how long they last.

I love my friends but sometimes they can be frustrating. Try this, as an example, it happens a lot – On the weekend I’ll get an email it says something like ‘Hi Jon we haven’t seen each other for a while we should catch up next week in the city after work for a drink’. I work in the city, so do a lot of my friends – I reply, ‘sure great idea, I’ll check my calendar at the office Monday and get back to you’. Please here note the specifics of ‘in the city’, ‘after work’ and ‘for a drink’. They become important later.

On Monday I check my work calendar and then send this email ‘I’m free Tuesday and Thursday evening, let’s catch up around 5:30PM in the city for a drink one of those days, let me know which one suits you’.

Next email back says this ‘Great, Wednesday at 5PM suits me’. So I reply as follows ‘Hi sorry, please read my last mail, I’m not free Wednesday, only Tuesday or Thursday’. That’s it. Then there’s a long silence, no reply. So I send another mail asking if the last one I sent arrived and what the decision was. No reply again for a day or so.

Finally as 5:30PM Tuesday looms I get this mail, ‘sorry Jon been busy, just read your mail, let’s catch up this evening, can you come see me in North Melbourne at 6PM we can have dinner?’ Given it’s already 5PM Tuesday and I’m in the city and have a dinner date at 7PM in the city, I have to reply ‘sorry can’t make that, can we do Thursday please?.

Again, there’s a long silence and on Wednesday I get this email, ‘Great Thursday is fine, 7PM at Marco’s in Fitzroy, I’ll book a table’.

Then I start to tear some hair out.

Sadly today is the last day of my long Easter Break; I have to go back to work tomorrow.

I did a lot during my time off. I painted my mural (photo below), made a trapdoor for the decking round the pool, and then as I now had easy access, fixed the waterfall and put a Buddha in it – see photo.

I also cooked a variety of things, including individual Beef Wellingtons, and then reorganised the garage so I could find things. I visited Bunnings most morning to buy ‘stuff’ to use that day to fix, build, and use for whatever my chores for the day were.

One odd and interesting event – I bought the Buddha in the picture during the week. I thought he’d be peaceful and serene in my waterfall alcove. I’d seen him earlier in the week and went back for him a few days ago. So feeling peaceful I bought him and the young lady at the place I bought him helped me load him in my car. As we tipped him on his back for the journey she said’ Oh I’d better get the insect spray, there’s a Redback (link) in there’ pointing at the hollow in the bottom of the Buddha. So much for Zen, Buddhism, peaceful and serene, I’d just loaded a Redback spider, one of Australia’s most dangerous, into my car!

Anyway goodbye holiday, hello work again tomorrow.

A year or so ago I bought two light fittings from Beacon Lighting for the kitchen ceiling at a friend’s place. I didn’t notice when I bought them but the bulbs had a rather unusual non-standard fitting. The two fittings between them hold 7 bulbs; the bulbs came with fittings so no drama. Or at least you’d think not.

A few weeks later, literally two or three weeks, one of the bulbs blew and I went to my local lighting store to buy some. Because they are non-standard my local lighting store didn’t stock them, only Beacon Lighting stock them and my nearest Beacon Lighting store is 25kms from home, or a 50km round trip!

I was brave and drove there, and because it’s a long way thought I’d get a few of them to save the long drive again soon. I asked for 6 and was taken aback to be asked for $90 for the bulbs, $15 each!

Being so expensive I started to keep count of how long they lasted. The box they come in has the term ‘8000 hours’ proudly stamped on a couple of sides. The answer however to the question “how long do they really last?” was that around every three weeks or so one of them blows. At $15 each that’s $5 a week for light bulbs, just for the kitchen. Also if you do the Math, 8000 hours is 333 days, or around 11 months non-stop. Even if the lights were on 24 hours a day 7 days a week, for the three week they last, that’s only 504 hours, one 16^th of the 8000 hour claim on the box.

Today having run out of spares again and needing some I drove 25kms to Beacon Lighting to buy more. After a half-hearted search of the shelves behind the counter the young lady working there told me sadly they were out of stock, and they’d order some in, so I left empty handed. Not really the result I was looking for in a 50km round trip.

So not only do they cost $15 each, and not only do the only last 3 weeks, not 11 months, but now they don’t even stock them, thanks Beacon Lighting remind me not to shop at your place again.